AN OPEN LETTER TO MY SON
So, it's obvious that I've been gone awhile. I haven't posted on this blog since last September (which happened to be the last time I felt well enough to be doing much of anything, if I'm honest). If you have been following along on my Instagram, you'll see that we had a baby, along with a very complicated pregnancy and birth, which is the reason for the extended absence. I had planned on writing a post announcing that we were expecting, as well as a post once our little one arrived, but there were a lot of complications that happened in between. I do plan on writing many more blog posts explaining everything that went on a bit more in depth, as it actually relates to how The Noble Paperie is evolving as a business, but I'll save that for a later date.
For now, I'd like to officially introduce my son to the world. Dear internet, meet Sebastian Mark Woolley, born February 11th, 2016. He was born two months early, and came unexpectedly two weeks before our scheduled c-section, at 8:16 in the morning. He weighed a whopping 4lbs. 9oz, and was almost 19 inches long - which was a miracle for a baby born at 32 weeks. I was on bed rest in the hospital, at home, and then in the hospital again for almost 5 months, and although our sweet baby boy spent some time in NICU, he is healthy and completely perfect in our eyes. We are so incredibly thankful for him, and are grateful for our little miracle baby.
For my first post back, I wanted to share an open letter to my son. For Christmas, my wonderful husband gifted me a baby book, beautifully designed by Emily Ley. I am absolutely in LOVE with this baby book, and have even ordered some additional NICU pages that she designed for it. One of the pages is a letter to my son (which I'm sure was supposed to be written prior to his arrival, but with all that went on, his baby book went on the back burner while I was in hospital). Today, I sat down and wrote this letter to him, and thought I would share it:
"Little boy, I didn't always know it, but becoming a Mum has been my greatest dream, and it will be our greatest adventure. I realize now, the good Lord placed a baby-sized hole in my heart, a hole that only you could possibly fill. I prayed for you during our first pregnancy, and although that loss was beyond anything I could have ever imagined, it also spurred me on to know that the Lord had someone specific in mind for us, and that someone was you.
I prayed for you during all of the trials and tribulations of our pregnancy - the times we almost lost you, all the scares you gave us; I prayed you would make it to us. And although your birth wasn't exactly what we had planned for, Daddy and I have also come to realize that we need to stop making plans. God had a plan for us, and you had your own plan for your arrival. Through that, you have taught us to be flexible and resilient.
I pray you'll always need me. I know you'll need me to eat, to sleep, and sometimes for a cuddle (though I hope that need never truly goes away). You'll need me when you're afraid of the dark, when the kids at school are mean, and when you're feeling poorly. I hope you'll still need me at 15, when the thought of being with your parents is repulsive. And again at 20, when the closest person to your heart will shift from Mummy, to someone else's daughter or son. I hope you'll still need me then, because I will always need you.
I pray that you'll manage to learn a few things from us. I pray you'll have Daddy's confidence and humor, his ability to turn any situation into a positive, as well as his ability to always see the good in every person. I pray you'll learn a good work ethic from me, and that no matter what, hard work always pays off. I pray I can instill in you a solid foundation of faith, and for you to know it can pull you out of the deepest, darkest places when you will most need it. I pray that we can give you a solid understanding to know right from wrong, and to always make good decisions.
I know becoming a Mum will be an experience I won't ever take lightly - though I'm certain this new job will have its moments. I pray all of these things for you, little boy, and finally, I want you to remember one thing: whenever you find yourself doubting your path, just remember how far you've come. Remember the trials you have already faced, and the battles you have won. Just keep on going, and raise your head high knowing that above all, you are so incredibly loved. With all our love, Mummy + Daddy
"The child grew and became strong, he was filled with wisdom and the grace of God was upon him." -Luke 2.40