GUEST SPOTLIGHT: KRYSTAL ANDERSON OF WITH LOVE, GENESIS & JOY
Hello! I’m Krystal. I married my husband in 2009 and after six years of marriage we decided we were finally ready to start a family. I got pregnant right away but ended up losing the pregnancy at eight weeks. We named the baby Ivory Genesis. After some post-miscarriage complications I got pregnant with our rainbow, and Naomi Joy was born in November 2016! We currently live in central Arkansas on military orders.
Q. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage and 1 in 8 couples are walking through infertility. With so many women being affected by these issues we believe there is power in the story. What was the turning point for you to feel safe enough to share your own journey?
A. I like to write when I have a lot on my mind, and one day a very detailed post about my miscarriage just kind of...happened. I published it on Instagram accompanied with a photo of me pregnant with Ivory, and the response was HUGE. I realized there are so many women struggling with loss, and so many of them feel alone, helpless, and angry just like I felt. I wanted to let them know they weren't alone.
Q. Everyone grieves differently. What was something that helped you to heal and process your grief?
A. Time. Lots of time. I read books, I prayed, I wrote, I got a memorial tattoo, had a necklace made with an engraving of Ivory’s name, but nothing helped me like time. It took a couple of years for me to even begin to climb out of my “hole of grief” as I call it.
When I delivered Naomi in 2016, I was hit with postpartum depression pretty hard (and unexpectedly, wasn’t the delivery of a rainbow baby supposed to be pure joy?!), and that intensified a lot of the grief and anger I was feeling. I think that is partially why it took me so long to begin to heal emotionally.
Q. Was there ever a time someone said something insensitive to you about your pregnancy, pregnancy-loss, or infertility? Knowing what you know now, how would you respond?
A. Yes, absolutely. It used to really bother me and hurt my feelings, but now I realize that some people genuinely do mean well, they just have a terrible way of getting their message across. Now I tell people that sometimes it’s better just to be silent, offer a listening ear, or just say a simple “I’m sorry.” Mothers walking through grief are very sensitive to the words of others and I think simpler is better.
Q. We are firm believers that every woman who opens her heart to have children is a mother. What is your most favorite thing about motherhood? And what is the most difficult thing about motherhood?
A. I admit to not knowing much about loss until I personally dealt with loss myself. I knew it happened, but I didn’t know how much it completely destroys you and crushes all of your hopes for the future. I’ve learned the road to motherhood is not as easy as just getting pregnant and having a baby and dressing it in cute clothes. It is often accompanied with heartache, anger, and hopelessness.
Q. How are you using your gifts to lift others up who are walking through pregnancy-loss, infertility, or other pregnancy-related issues?
A. I started With Love Genesis and Joy in April 2017. Having experienced the pain of loss myself, I knew how much it hurt to not have others acknowledge you or your baby on particularly rough days like due dates, birth/death dates, and other holidays like Mother’s Day. I create special handmade cards and send them (for free!) to mothers who request one on my website. It has been such a blessing to help so many hurting mamas. It’s a special thing to see your baby’s name written down and I love having the opportunity to do this.
Q. Grief and loss, especially with miscarriage, infertility, and pregnancy-loss, can feel very isolating. What is something you would say to yourself in the first days after your loss?
A. “Take all the time you need to grieve.” Someone told me this when I miscarried and it has always stuck with me. You wont be okay after a couple days, a couple weeks, or even a month. It takes lots of time and that’s just fine.
Also, grieve how you need to. If you need to write, do that. Take a trip, do that. Get a tattoo, do that. Everyone’s grief journey is different and there is no right or wrong way.
Do you know a mama walking through loss that would benefit from a handmade card?
Are you a loss mama that wants your angel baby's birthday remembered?
Request a card from With Love, Genesis & Joy!
There is power in the story.
Thank you for allowing us to share a little bit about Krystal, her background, experiences, and story. We want to continue to support our community while lifting others up. Did you enjoy this? Do you know a mama who would be a good fit for a Guest Spotlight with us? Feel free to comment here, or drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. We would love to hear what you think!